So Henry, gotta tell you kid .. you’re getting on my nerves …
So apparently you’re all pissy because Dr. Hopper told you that your book of fairy tales is not real, because, well, honestly kid it’s just a book of fairy tales .. and usually, fairy tales aren’t real.
but you’re really pissed … like really seriously pissed.
But then you run to Emma’s house and suddenly you’re all like:
“Dr. Hopper said my book wasn’t real … wah wah wah .. my mom’s the Evil Queen .. my life sucks .. boo hoo … look at all my creys …”
So, for arguments sake .. let’s just take a look at what your life would be like if fairy tales were real and your mom is really evil like you say she is:
First off, you know how you always say stuff your mom doesn’t like, and she just looks all sad, but doesn’t really do or say anything back to you?
Well if your mom was really evil, she wouldn’t look sad at all, because this is what she would do to you when you say stuff she doesn’t like:
And you know like, when you’re scared, hurt, or upset, or your life could possibly be in danger
because you’re an idiot.. and your mom thinks it’s her fault, she looks like this?
But if your mom was really evil, and you were scared, sad, hurt, or in danger and it’s most definitely her fault, she’d probably just look like this:
And you know how your mom doesn’t like your little fairy tale book, but lets you keep it anyways .. and when you lost it she even bought you a video game, so you wouldn’t be sad .. because your mom lets you be yourself, and wants you to be happy?
… and she does nice things for you, like
taking care of your every need for the last 10 years of your life.. bringing you your lunch to school because you forgot it at home ..
But even after you are still nasty to her and say mean things to her and then you look at her like this:
Well if your mom was really evil, she wouldn’t let you be yourself at all, in fact she’d make you feel like you just being yourself wasn’t nearly good enough … she wouldn’t let you do or have anything she didn’t want you to, and she wouldn’t do shit for you, so you’d most likely look at her like this:
And ..you know how when you get upset or feel lonely, or want to talk, you can go to Emma, or Mary Margaret or both.. and they’ll be there for you, and even though your mom doesn’t really like it, and could definitely stop it from happening .. she still lets you do it anyways?
Well if your mom was really evil, she’d make sure that you had absolutely no one to talk to when you were sad, or upset or lonely … not even your own father would defend you, protect you, or be there for you:
Oh and you know how when your life was on the line because your dumb ass ate a turnover that you knew was gonna make you conk out into an eternal sleep, just to prove a point to your equally dumb ass birth mother ..
…and your mom put you before any and everything else, and told Emma about the curse, and basically screwed her own master plan up just to save your little shit of a life, because nothing else mattered to her anymore except you being ok?
Well if your mom was really evil, she wouldn’t give two shits whether you were ok or not .. she’d set you up so that you’d have to marry some old ass king, putting her needs before your needs, just so she could live out her life the way she wanted, even though you’d probably be miserable for the rest of yours with some old ass man:
… then she’d manipulate a little girl into telling her your secret about who your true love is, by making her think that she was really a good mom, and she really does love you and wants you to be happy:
Oh .. and then after she found out .. she’d kill your one true love by ripping their heart out of their chest and crushing it into dust right in front of you:
and afterwards she’d just look like this, and tell you that this is your happy ending:
AND THEN .. if your mom was really evil .. she’d totally let you blame that little girl for basically ruining your life, when it was really her that was to blame for everything that happened .. and then actually say she was proud of you for the first time in your life for doing so:
So kid, next time you call your mom “evil” … or tell her she’s not your mom .. and that now you found your real mom .. and all that other bullshit you say all the time to hurt her and make her look like this:
Just remember that if your mom was really evil, you would probably look like this all the time, not just when someone tells you your little fairy tale book isn’t real:
Kinda looks a little like this huh?
I’ll just let you think about all of that for a little while
you little fucker …
Fave part? ‘just to prove a point to your equally dumb ass birth mother’